Today was just one of those days. It was a combination of me
being really off and my kids being a little off. I came into the day already
feeling like I didn’t want to be there, and I really wasn’t as prepared as I needed
to be either.
I don’t know how I feel about this medication. It definitely
keeps me from getting upset or anxious, but I also think it makes me let myself
get away with doing stuff halfway. I’m also just a lot slower on it, so I think
it might take me longer to get things done. That was part of the problem: yesterday
I took a long time to do my planning, longer than normal, but overall it turned
out being lower quality than normal too. There were just huge gaps and things I
didn’t do. And I didn’t feel stressed out or pressured to do something about
it. So I just let it be. And I kind of think that’s why I had such a terrible
day today.
I’m just so exhausted too. Every layer of exhausted. I
wouldn’t be sleep-deprived exhausted except that this stupid medication makes
me so drowsy.
All I know is that I feel really miserable right now.
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